Building a healthy relationship means spending quality time together and apart
Entering a relationship is a huge investment. In today’s society, finding time for yourself can already be difficult, and balancing quality time with another person is an even bigger task. This is especially true for busy couples, whose schedules are simply too full to consider alone time. Unfortunately, this results in many couples having to choose between maintaining their own independence and making time for their significant other, and many in relationships lose grasp on who they are.
Although ‘losing yourself’ seems to be an all-too-common phenomenon experienced by those who enter a relationship, many still undermine the importance of prioritizing yourself; that the concentration on one’s wellbeing is “selfish” or irrelevant to the relationship. However, the truth is that a stronger sense of “me” is directly correlated to the fulfillment of “we”.
Here are five tips for a more interdependent relationship, rather than a codependent one:
1. Develop personalised morning and evening rituals
Even if it means waking up earlier. Do it. Morning and evening routines are a relaxing and ample time period essential to building mindfulness. Carving out time like this for yourself can ensure that you are prioritising your health and wellbeing while also starting/ending the day off with a bang.
2. Allocate time for your hobbies and interests
Whether that be rock climbing, baking, painting or watching a documentary. Allocating time for your interests, single or not, will always be worthwhile. By engaging yourself with something you’re passionate about, you not only eradicate boredom but also provide yourself with a mental escape.
Though you may think this only benefits you, allocating time for your interests can, surprisingly, benefit your relationship as well. You and your partner may come to appreciate your differences and admire your separate strengths.
3. Build an exercise routine
Aside from the myriad of health benefits we will spare you from reading, building an exercise routine for yourself provides a quality alone time that you know is well-spent. Though focusing on yourself mentally is important, the physical aspect of self-care cannot be overlooked.
4. Communicating the need for alone time
As the saying goes: “Distance makes the heart grow fonder”. Communicating the need for alone time may not have to be as daunting a thought if translated in the right way. Remember, communicating you need alone time is not necessarily a bad thing. It can be as simple and casual as saying, “I love spending the weekends with you, but I’ve been lazy on some of my hobbies lately. Would you mind me going to that urban-dancing class I was talking about?”.
5. Identify interdependency from dependency
The secret to balancing time alone whilst juggling a relationship is simple; ensure that you are interdependent, rather than dependent or codependent, with your partner; a person that is codependent may find themselves planning their daily lives and long-term plans around a person. On the other hand, interdependency is rooted in the idea that two individuals, both strong and independent, are involved with each other but will not sacrifice their own values for them.
We all know people who completely transform after entering a relationship; distancing themselves from friends, family and personal hobbies. However, healthy partners should always support each other’s individual growth, prospering side-by-side to better themselves and each other. Remember who you fell in love with, and remember who you were when you fell in love.
Shoutout!
Thank you @jentina.joanna for inciting this blog idea! (For opportunities to make your idea our next blog, message us on Instagram @sparkstheapp)
Disclaimer: The information provided here is for general informational purposes only. Please do not use the information provided here as a replacement for therapy or professional advice. For the full disclaimer policy, please refer to www.flamme.app/disclaimer.
